I have a confession.
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| Photo from Creative Commons, by Swaminathan |
I have a crush on Bangkok.
It's strange. If you were to call me up and ask me how I feel about Bangkok, I would immediately want to tell you how much I dislike certain things about it. About the crawling traffic, the dirty air, the cloud of greenhouse gasses that settles down on its streets everyday, creating a world without winter – a world where it is either hot and not raining, or hot and raining. But there would be a nagging voice in the back of my mind that would say, “all of that is true, but at the same time you are starting to fall for this place anyway, aren't you?”
I know that cities are usually referred to as feminine, but for the sake of this entry, we're going to refer to Bangkok, and my previous geographical loves, as men. My first international city crush was definitely on London. He was clean and romantic. He confidently showed off with his idyllic ancient charm mingled with every possible modern convenience. He made me feel free – he was after all, my first international city love – he made me feel alive.
Then there was Sorrento (Italy). Sorrento and I had a young and unpredictable romance – even now, every time I think of him, I can't help but smile. He had ancient cobble stone alleys that led to the mediterranean sea. He was still european, and for the most part safe, but he had a more unpredictable side. He wasn't embarrassed – he sang loudly and free. He made me feel beautiful.
After a long break from european romances, there was Lausanne. Lausanne was perfect – almost annoyingly perfect. His streets were clean and beautiful. He had the cobblestone, he had the cathedrals, he was reliable and prompt, he had a beautiful lake, he even had the Alps. He made me feel at home, he made me feel accepted and known and loved.
There were many more: Antwerp, Madrid, and Gottingen, just to name a few. I even had a short lived and exotic fling with Agou (Africa). It was filled with rich color and deep sweet smells. Although it was short, it impacted me in a way none of the others ever could.
These city loves all had something in common (except for maybe Agou). They made me feel nervous and shy at first, but they were approachable and kind. They invited me to get to know them, to walk through their streets, to sit in their cafes and learn their characters. It was easy to flirt with them, to learn them, and to let them into my heart.
Bangkok is different. Bangkok is tan and mysterious and tough. Bangkok has dust and dirt on his clothes. He is strong and intimidating. I can tell just by looking at him that he is dangerous – but somehow I know he wouldn't hurt me. I have been weary of him. I have kept him at a distance and watched him carefully. But somehow, through the months, he has been breaking down my defenses. He has been luring me in, and I am beginning to trust him. We are taking it slow – I have never loved a city like him before, so big and threatening – but he is patient, he is subtly enticing me with his altogether mysterious personality. Today I went on a walk with him; only for twenty minutes or so, but I let him whisper some of his secrets to me as he led me through small walkways, over nearly flooded passages in his slum, stepping over diseased and malnourished dogs. He was strange and foreign and romantic and beautiful. My heart was beating quickly, and I felt insecure to be the recipient of some of his intimate secrets – but he knew it was what was needed to turn my head.
So there. I said it, I am falling for Bangkok; for all of his dangerous, dirty, humid, hot, intense, crowded, but beautiful and romantic ways. However, my true first love need not be jealous. No city – no matter how tall, dark, and handsome – could ever steal my heart from Portland – my true love. :)
