You're The Light in this Darkness

I originally wrote this story for the YWAM website, but the Tamar Center is registered under a non-profit here in Thailand that many YWAM ministries are registered with, because these ministries are registered under this non-profit they are recognized by the Thai government - which is a great blessing.  However, we have to be a little bit sensitive to how much we reference Jesus and the Holy Spirit on the website when specifically addressing these ministries because of this affiliation.  Because of this, my story cannot be published on the website, but I wanted to share it with you guys, it was a great experience!! 

“You're the God of this city, you're the king of these people, you're the Lord of this Nation, you are. You're the light in this darkness, you're the hope to the hopeless, you're the peace to the restless, you are.” I recently found myself singing these lyrics as a prayer over the city of Pattaya during a time of intercession and worship. As I reflected on the power of these words and the weight they carry in such a dark place, I was taken aback by the reality of the battle that is raging here. I was sitting in a small room on the top floor of a building owned by The Tamar Center – a ministry that reaches out to women working in the sex trade in Pattaya. The building is about halfway down a road named Soi 6, one of the worst streets in Pattaya for prostitution. As we sang and prayed we could here the music, the people laughing, and the general commotion from the bars below. Sometimes as I walk through the streets here, I feel overwhelmed by the magnitude and grasp of darkness and brokenness that is so blatantly celebrated and paraded through this city, but then I remember that God is in the business of defying the odds, God is in the business of redeeming and defending what is His – and He is the God of this city.

Two of our english class students with
one of our thai staff

I am a short term volunteer at the Tamar Center where I teach english to women who are still working in the bars. The free english classes are a part of The Tamar Center's friendship evangelism with the women of the city. Each class consists of an hour of english teaching, along with ten minutes of prayer, worship, and a short devotional from one of the Tamar Center's thai staff. During one of our classes I was given a glimpse of what God is doing in the hearts and minds of the people of Pattaya.

There didn't seem to be anything particularly special about class that day. We learned some new vocabulary, practiced pronunciation, and the girls had a good laugh about my attempts to communicate in thai. One of the Tamar Center's staff members shared a brief story from her life and told the girls about some of the training opportunities offered through The Tamar Center, and then began to lead us in worship. As we started to sing one of the students began to cry. She quickly got out of her seat and walked towards the window. A staff member gently approached her and offered her a listening ear and prayer. The rest of the class continued to sing, but it wasn't long before we noticed that tears were beginning to well up in the other women's eyes as well.

At first we were surprised, unsure of what brought on such a wave of emotion, but after a moment it became clear – The Holy Spirit was moving in the room and breaking down walls in these women's hearts. After a powerful time of prayer and intercession not only for the girls, but with the girls, we said “amen” and expected that the time had come to a close. We opened our eyes and shifted our glances from person to person – no one moved. The girls smiled intermittently as they wiped tears from their cheeks, tears that spoke of heartache, pain, and suffering. But these tears also spoke of a glimmer of hope – they had tasted something that afternoon that they recognized as authentically powerful and at the same time loving. Soon one of the ministry leaders who had joined us began to play the guitar again, “if they don't want to go home, we will continue to worship,” she said. We shared in a beautiful time of fellowship with The Holy Spirit for an hour before the girls went their various ways.

As far as I am aware, none of these women have accepted Jesus as their Lord and savior at this point, (however, at least one of them is very close) but they have briefly tasted of the freedom He brings, and are hungry for more. Several women arrived around 45 minutes early for the following day's english class. We chatted for a while, but the women were curious about the Bible, they wanted to hear more about God. One of the staff handed out Bibles and walked them through the creation account in Genesis, teaching them about God's authorship, and that He created each of them. The women read along, asked questions, and engaged their minds and hearts in the story. English class soon began and finished as normal – no tears or emotional displays. But it is clear that God is working in these women's hearts, beckoning them to step into the freedom and love that He holds out for each of them as a free gift, if they will only take it.

At first glance, Pattaya appears to be a city devoid of hope and locked up in darkness. But there have been men and women of God called to this city as light bearers crying out and interceding for the city for many years. Those prayers are powerful weapons and their fruit is beginning to ripen – please rise up in prayer with those who are working here as God breaks through the battle lines drawn in the sand and redeems his children held captive by darkness one by one.   

"Good Guys go to Heaven, Bad Guys go to Pattaya"

Do you ever feel like your life is like a ride in an amusement park? There are unexpected twists and turns, sudden drops, and occasionally slow crawls toward the top. You often can't see what will happen next, and that is why we love a good afternoon at the theme park – we love the adrenaline, we love the sudden rush of fear. Why is this fear enjoyable while other forms of fear are most definitely not? It's because we have enough faith in the engineers who created these rides we love so much, to believe that while we are enjoying the illusion of danger and adventure, there is really no danger to be found, we are in reality, quite safe.

I feel like my life is taking a tour of the local six flags amusement park these days, jumping from ride to ride, plunging me into unknown adventures and sometimes fearful journeys. But, when I remember who designed the ride, who engineered the safety equipment holding me securely in place, I can breathe a sigh of relief. My latest unexpected turn has taken me to the city of Pattaya. Pattaya is about an hour and a half SE of Bangkok on the coast. It is a city unlike any other I have ever seen.

I first arrived in Pattaya last week with one of my closest friends, Monica, who was visiting me. We came to visit a YWAM ministry here named The Tamar Center. The Tamar Center is a beautiful ministry making a profound impact on the city of Pattaya. In order to understand Pattaya and the influence the Tamar Center has on it, you need to understand a little bit about what has been happening here for the past 40 years. Before the Vietnam war Pattaya was a small fishing village with very little if any international tourism. However, during the war Pattaya became a convenient and beautiful location for American soldiers to take a much needed break. As the location grew in popularity with the soldiers, the village grew to accommodate them. Before long Pattaya was getting world wide attention for its beautiful beaches and growing tourist attractions. Today Pattaya is known for its high rise hotels, restaurants boasting of every imaginable international cuisine, but most of all, for its girls.

Pattaya is one of a collection of cities known throughout the world for its sex tourism. I knew this before ever stepping foot in Pattaya, but I was not prepared for what I would see. Monica and I arrived on a Thursday afternoon, we boarded a song-taw (a Thai form of public transport consisting of a pickup truck with a canopied bed and two benches for passengers to sit on) at the bus station, and headed for Soi 6 – the street where one of The Tamar Center's two buildings is located. The song-taw drove us along the beautiful tropical beach blanketed with umbrellas and reclining chairs. There were merchants weaving their way up and down the beach wearing straw hats, and balancing bamboo poles with large baskets on each end holding fruit, meat, jewelry, and even sunscreens and oils. We felt the buzz of a new and altogether different place as we watched the city fly by around us. Before long our driver stuck his head out the window to tell us that this was our stop. We jumped out of the truck and headed down the adjoining small street across from us. The street was covered from end to end with open bars flooded with women who were all wearing lingerie (at best), high heels, and loads of makeup. Some of the women sat in large groups under the bar's canopies, some walked up and down the street, or stood near the entrance to their bar dancing. There was blaring american pop music coming from every direction. There was a huge sign hung high between two of the buildings lining the street, it read, “The Amsterdam Experience”. Monica and I tried not to stare, we tried to smile politely when our eyes met with the eyes of the multitudes of women lining the street, we tried to pretend like there was nothing wrong. The women we smiled at would warmly return the smile and gently bow their heads – a typical Thai greeting. We finally arrived at The Tamar Center where we were met by Nella, the Tamar Center ministry leader. She greeted us then gave us a quick tour. The Tamar Center has a very nice beauty salon on its bottom floor – one of the only alternatives to a bar front on the street. The salon acts as a beauty school and salon for girls who want to leave the bars and receive training in another trade. Upstairs there is a pregnancy resource center offering free health care to pregnant women, an english training center, and a prayer, worship, and intercession room. We joined an english class that began shortly after we arrived. The english classes are offered to women working in the bars for free, the class helps build relationships and trust with the girls. After class we were taken to the Tamar Center's second building. There was a very nice bakery and cafe on the bottom floor of this building. We were shown two separate industrial kitchens where a culinary school and a baking school are run, upstairs there was a card and jewelry making room where women who decide to leave the bars can come to immediately supplement their incomes, the next floor held two rows of computers, where a business and computer training school is run, and a large room used for counseling, bible teaching, and discipleship.

The goal of the Tamar Center is to reach out to women who are working in prostitution (working in the bars) and offer them the truth and freedom of Jesus along with practical training so they can make money after leaving the bars. It was beautiful to see all that God has done through this ministry. We met woman after woman wearing collared blue shirts with the Tamar Center emblem embroidered on them, a stark contrast to the attire that most of the women we had met so far had been wearing. Later Nella explained that most of the women we met working at the Tamar Center had once been in prostitution themselves, but had met Jesus, left the bars, and gone through training with the Tamar Center. These women empathize with the women working in the bars so much, they want freedom for these women as well, which is why they decided to stay on staff with the Tamar Center and continue to reach out to the city.

Monica's game of Jenga during
Bar outreach

One evening we were invited to come along to bar outreach. During bar outreach women from the Tamar Center go in groups of two into the bars and talk with the girls. Sometimes the girls don't want to talk, in which case they usually just play games (the bars keep games for the girls to play with customers. Most of the men who visit the bars don't speak Thai, and very few of the girls speak english, so the games act as an ice breaker). But sometimes the girls seem like they are desperate for someone to come along who is willing to listen to them – or at least that's how it seemed to me.

One of the women we met made a deep impact on me. My thai language is very limited, but the people here seem to be very impressed with even the attempt to speak with them in their native language, as was the case that night. I greeted a few girls in thai and asked them what their names were. They told me and asked me where I am from, I responded which
got them talking about wanting to learn english. One girl had a children's thai-english dictionary, she pulled it out and showed me. Then she pulled out her phone and showed me that she had english learning CDs downloaded on it. I told her that was great and invited her to english class. I noticed that the wallpaper on her phone was a picture of her. I asked her if I could see, I smiled and told her it was beautiful in thai. She looked at the picture then back at me and began speaking to me in thai quickly with a little bit of desperation in her voice. I was totally caught off guard by her reaction, but I tried to show her that I was trying to listen even though I couldn't understand what she was saying. The woman I was with from the Tamar Center began translating for me in my ear.

“This is what I look like” she said, pointing at her phone. “I don't wear makeup, I don't wear these clothes,” she looked down.

She was trying not to cry as she told me that her husband had left her. That she wanted so badly for her son to go to a good school that she knew she had to make more money than she could if she didn't leave her home in the poor NE region of Thailand. She moved to Pattaya dreaming she would be able to make lots of money, save up for her son to go to school, then move back home. She sends all of her money to her son, who is 15 (although you would never believe it looking at this woman, I would have guessed she was 25, or 26, but she told me she was in her mid 30s). Her son is angry with her for living in Pattaya and working in the bars, so he doesn't speak to her anymore. She wants so badly to go home and be with her son, but she doesn't see a way out, she is trapped. I listened and let our eyes lock as she told me her story, but I had no idea how to respond to her. The woman I was with began to tell her about the Tamar Center and the job training options available there, I'm not sure about all that she said, but I hope that I see this woman again, I pray she comes to english class, I pray that she meets Jesus and is set free from the heavy chains that have her bound and keep her from moving.

Monica and I at the beach

After five days in Pattaya, Monica and I boarded a bus headed back to Bangkok. We enjoyed one final day together, then I took her back to the airport and she left for America – once again cementing the reality of living in a foreign land. It was a profound encouragement to have her here with me and she was able to help me decide to volunteer short term for the Tamar Center. The Tamar Center's regular english teacher is in England for the next two months and they have been desperately searching for someone to fill in for her. I realized that there is nothing preventing me from doing my job with the communications department from anywhere in Thailand as long as I am able to keep email contact. So here I am, living in Pattaya. I spent the evening frantically trying to memorize the thai vocabulary for the english lesson I am teaching tomorrow, and recovering from yet another afternoon lost in a new city, only this time with the added bonus of a continuous torrential downpour literally turning the streets into rivers running three to five inches deep. The rain stopped briefly around five this evening, so I ventured out to find some dinner. As I sat at a little plastic table under an awning flooded with soggy people I suddenly asked myself, “what am I doing here? Was it not enough to move to Thailand, to Bangkok? Why did I leave the city I was just barely getting adjusted to, to move to another city where I once again am starting alone?” Then I remembered that, as always, I am not alone. I asked God to use me in anyway He saw fit, I want to be a blessing to as many as I can, not just in the ways that I originally planned.

So, as this roller-coaster spins and loops, drops, and climbs I am trying to remember that although the illusion of danger is sometimes quite intense, I have nothing to fear – I am safe and secure. But as always I would hugely appreciate your prayers. Please be praying for me as I teach english, I have never taught english to speakers of other languages before, and I really have no idea what I am doing. Pray that I will have creative ideas and the ability to enrich the lesson plans (yes, praise God, there are already lesson plans). Pray also that my understanding and ability to speak thai would hugely improve. I am also hoping to begin learning to read thai script...I need soooo much prayer for language! Pray that once again I will be able to meet new people and make solid, meaningful, and beautiful relationships. Pray for this city, and for the Tamar Center. This city is so broken, there is so much dark and demonic work happening here. The title of my blog this week comes from a t-shirt I have seen all around Pattaya, “Good guys go to heaven, bad guys go to Pattaya.” This encapsulates the attitude of many of the people who come to Pattaya, it is a place where they can have fun, they can indulge in their dirty fantasies guilt free, because no one in Pattaya will think twice about it, it's normal here. Pray for light in this city, that darkness would loose its grip, loose its power, and that those caught in the binds of that darkness would experience life and freedom.